Week 9 Picks

Week 9 Picks

After last weeks 5-9 debacle, I've decided to try a new approach. I pick a team to cover the spread, and then go with the other team. In the words of George Costanza, "if every instinct I have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right."

Additionally, I'll be doling out free fantasy football advice since in one of my leagues I'm 2-6 and obviously know what I'm talking about. On to the week 9 picks!

Home team in caps.

VIKINGS (-4.5) over Texans

Miami. Detroit. Cinci. These three team are Houston's past three opponents. If you're a Schaub, Johnson or Slaton owner, now is the time to deal these guys since their value will never be higher. Not that you're trading Andre Johnson, I'm just saying he can't keep up this crazy pace.

Jaguars (-6.5) over BENGALS

Since it looks like Carson "ohhh, my knee! I think it's broken" Palmer is most likely out for the year, it means the Hahvahd guy is slinging to rock to Houshmanzadeh and Ocho Stinko for the remainder of the season. Yeah, it sucks if you drafted those guys.

CHIEFS (+7.5) over Bucs

Tyler Thigpen's new name will be Not That Bad Thigpen since he almost led the Chiefs to an improbable upset over the Jets. Tyler Thigpen--not that bad. The only players worth starting in this game are Bowe, Gonzo and Garcia (but only if you drafted Brady, Palmer, Romo and Hasselbeck with your first four picks).

Ravens (+1.5) over BROWNS

The Browns team looked pleasantly frisky in the last two games, which automatically means they will lose this game. LeBron McLean, Ray Ray Rice and the RB from the U are all worth owning if you play in a 30 team league. Otherwise, don't start these guys.

Jets (+5.5) over BILLS

Leon Washington looked great last week against the Chiefs, and perhaps is worth a pickup if your a Thomas Jones owner. But lets be realistic, it's Leon Washington and unless he breaks off another 60 yard run, he isn't scoring in this game.

RAMS (+3.5) over Cardinals

Go pick up Donnie Avery in your league if he is unowned. I'll wait. You're back? Great. Now start Avery for the rest of the season since there was a reason he was the first rookie WR drafted during the April draft.

BEARS (-12.5) over Lions

Buy, buy, buy. Sell, sell, sell. Buy Orton, sell Forte. I think Orton keeps up this staggering clip and finishes as a top-10 QB this season. Forte? He's been great, but rookie RB's inevitablly hit a wall in November when they realize they have to play more than 12 games and don't get a month off during December before bowl games.


Packers (+5.5) over TITANS

You know what I just said about rookie RB's? That doesn't apply to Chris Johnson, who is an absolute stud. As for the Packers, I think they get on a mini roll here and bang out a couple of wins, including upsetting the previously unbeaten Tennessee Titans.

Dolphins (+2.5) over BRONCOS

You know why I'm taking the Dolphins here? Besides the fact I'm doing the opposite of what my brain tells me, take a look at the picture below. What is Cutler doing playing beirut during a bye week. The guy is a friggin NFL quarterback. I except him to drink nothing but water, gatorade and the occasional muscle milk beverage.


RAIDERS (+3.5) over Falcons

Can Tommy Cable please start playing McFadden. I mean the guy was a top-4 pick in the draft for a reason. I don't care if he has turf toe, just let him run in the open field and see what happens.

Cowboys (+7.5) over GIANTS

This game has Eli Manning stink fest written all over it. If the Dallas defense can play with the same grit and toughness they displayed in their last game, they have a shot even if Brooks Bollinger is throwing slant passes to Patrick Crayton.


SEAHAWKS (+7.5) over Eagles

I think this is a high scoring affair with Westbrook, McNabb, Jackson, Engram, J. Jones and a warm body at WR for Seattle all having big days. Additionally Holmgren and Reid can battle it out for the last XXXXXL jacket to wear on the sideline.

COLTS (-4.5) over Patriots

This game doesn't quite have the same meaning as last years slugfest, but somehow should still be a high scoring game. Wayne, Clark (damn you Clark for costing me a W one league), Pey-Pey, Moss, BenJarvus and Faulk all have big games in this one.


Steelers (+2.5) over REDSKINS

Ahh, my beloved Redskins. I don't ask for much, but if you could win this game and shut the Steelers fans traps for one week, I would really appreciate it. Our defensive doesn't have Jason Taylor and Shawn Springs, but then again the Steelers are really banged up as well. I see a really low scoring game, with maybe one combined touchdown. I really like Shaun Suisham and Jeff Reed in this game.


Last week: 5-9