Drew Brees has really impressed me recently, both by his play on the field and his ability to grow the Balti in his late 20's. Brees' knack for spreading the ball around the field means the Raiders won't be able to key on any receiver, negating their shutdown corners. Additionally, the 'aints should be fuming after their loss on Monday and will want revenge against the hapless Raiders. I contemplated taking the Raiders simply because of the shirt Brees was wearing in the MNF post game conference, but common sense won out.
Ravens (+6.5) over COLTS
If Sage Rosenfels doesn't completely self destruct in the last two minutes of the Texans/Colts game, the Texans win their home opener and the Colts are staring at a 1-3 start. Perhaps he and Jay Fiedler didn't perform the proper Rosh Hashanah duties. For whatever reason the Texans imploded, the Ravens shouldn't give the Colts many opportunities to score.
JETS (-5.5) over Bengals
How does Marv Lewis still have a job? The Bengals are 0-5 and haven't won a playoff game during his tenure. The Bengals defense can't hold any team to under 25 points and Brett Fav-rah threw six touchdown passes two weeks ago. The Jets are also coming off a bye week and shouldbe well rested to destroy. I like the Jets here--unless they play in their throwback uniforms.
Panthers (+2.5) over BUCS
Every Bucs game seems to have a line less than 3 points. Their games are just too close to call, and with either Jeff Garcia or Brian Griese taking the snaps, the Panthers look like the pick here.
Side note about Garcia. Is there a funnier story about Terrell Owens then when he called Garcia gay even though Garcia ended up marrying a Playboy Playmate of the year. How does anyone take TO seriously?
VIKINGS (-12½) over Lions
Did you know Barry Sanders could leg press 1500 lbs? I'm making this number up, but I wouldn't doubt his abilities. So unless Sanders is walking through the door, the Lions aren't doing anything this season. R.I.P Millen's stache.
FALCONS (+2.5) over Bears
Consider me an official member of the Matty Ice Bandwagon. Two wins at home. Check. Win on the road at Lambeau. Check. Winning record. Check. Is there anything Matty Ice can't do in this league? The Bears probably think their shit don't stank after running up the score against the horrendous Lions defense. I think Kyle Orton comes back to earth, and Matt Ryan and Michael Burner Turner have big games.
TEXANS (-3.5) over Dolphins
It's never a good sign if your running back has a better arm than your quarterback. Every week it seems a running back or wide receiver is throwing for a touchdown--off the the top of my head I can think of Chester Taylor, Antwaan Randel-El and Ronnie Brown throwing one this season. I think Steve Slaton might throw one to Andre Johnson. The NFL, if nothing else, is a copycat league.
Rams (+13.5) over REDSKINS
Book your tickets to Tampa Bay now, because the Redskins are certainly Super Bowl bound. However, they win close games, not blowouts. Their four wins have come by an average of 5 points. The Rams are terrible but have had two weeks to plan for this game. I like the Skins by 7-10 points.
BRONCOS (-2.5) over Jaguars
The Jags defense isn't nearly as good as the Bucs, so Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall should get back to their old ways on Sunday. The Jags couldn't stop Longlastname on Sunday night even though he had every conceivable injury known to man, so how are they going to stop the gunslinger from Nashvegas? Jack of the River might pop a couple of blood vessels after Marshall catches his second touchdown pass.
Eagles (-6.5) over 49ERS
This is a must win game for the Iggles after the 1st quarter meltdown against the eventual Super Bowl Champs. Westbrook has a rib. McNabb has a body. But the key is the Eagles defense. If the defense can force the Irish Bar into passing situations, they can key up on Isaac Bruce and shut down Frank Gore, they should get their offense back on the field.
CARDINALS (+5.5) over Cowboys
Apparently Kurt Warner was considering retirement after Boldin's injury since he felt responsible for the hit because of his errant throw. The only thing more exciting than playing quarterback in the NFL is bagging groceries, but in the end I think Warner made the right choice and decided to play out the rest of the season. The Cowboys got a necessary but difficult win against Cincinnati and certainly don't look like the unstoppable force they were in the beginning of the season. Also, Wade Phillips is coaching the Cowboys, so the coaching edge goes to the other team.
SEAHAWKS (-2.5) over Packers
The normally reliable Seahawks looked TERRIBLE last week. Seriously, the worst team in the history of the NFL, and this is including the Herm "Lets Build On That" Edwards coached Kansas City Chiefs. But the friendly confines of Seattle should change their fortunes. Matt Hasselbeck has Bobby Engram back from injury, so he now has a credible receiver. Since Aaron Rodgers is a little banged up, I like the Seahawks.
Patriots (+4.5) over CHARGERS
Matt Cassel, welcome to the big show! Cassel threw a bomb to Randy Moss last week, assuring Moss owners that they shouldn't sell for 30 cents on the dollar. Cheese grater face was outcoached in Miami, and will certainly be clutching his laminated play sheet while staring off into space wondering how the Patriots are beating him at home.
Giants (-7.5) over BROWNS
Let me set the scene for you: On Sunday, as the Browns were enjoying their bye week, Romeo Crennel was in a Cleveland boutique store getting fitted for 56-inch fupa khakis. As the tailor was measuring the fupa, Crennel was watching the Giants destroy the Seahawks and wondering how he would botch timeouts during opportune times in the upcoming Giants/Browns game. Giants by two scores.
Last week: 5-6-2
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