NFL Conference Championship Picks

If I've learned anything from the NFL playoffs (which I haven't), it's that no one knows anything. Actually, that's not correct--there is one piece of information that is true. I've mentioned this before, but if every instinct the general betting public has is wrong (bookies didn't get rich by people winning), then the opposite must be right. For example, you couldn't find a single person outside of the Cardinals lockeroom that thought they had a chance against the Panthers. Everyone was convinced the Panthers would steamroll. Everyone had the same facts:

• Cards were 0-5 on the East Coast.
• Lost to the Panthers earlier in the season
• Panthers featured the best 1-2 running game in the league
• Panthers were well rested coming off a bye.
  
• Kurt Warner is 37

Guess what? The Cardinals dominated the Panthers in every facet of the game, and frankly, no one knows exactly how and why it happened. Well the general public was dead wrong on the game. Therefore what seemed to be impossible picks are actually quite straight forward. You take the team everyone loves and pick the opposite. On to the picks...

CARDINALS (+4) over Eagles

Boldin/Man of Steel is back for this game, a fact Jim Johnson can't be happy about. Throw in the inevitable circus catch Fitzgerald is going to make, and it seems the Iggs are in trouble. Also, the home crowd will be pumped up. Furthermore, if the Tampa Bay Rays, formerly the most inept team in baseball can go to the World Series, then why can't the Cardinals win one game to make the Super Bowl.

In reality, I'm trying to justify picking the Cards because if the line moved from -3 to -4 for Philly, then I'm definitely taking the Cards. I'll hedge my bets to forecast an Eagles victory though.

Pick: Eagles 24, Cardinals 23.

Ravens (+6) over STEELERS

True story: The mayor of Pittsburgh, Luke Ravenstahl, will legally change his name to Luke Steelerstahl for this game. "Stahl" is also German for Steel, which means his last name is Steelersteel. Although Pittsburgh was founded by the Germans in 1902, which of course in German means a whale's vagina,there is no way I can pick a team where their mayor's last name is Steelersteel.

This is the rough equivalent to the Redskins playing the Cowboys in the NFC Championship game and the mayor of DC (my boy, Fenty) changing his fictional last name of Cowboyhaut to Redskinshaut. Haut, of course, is German for skin. Therefore, his new last name is redskinsskin. See how ridiculous that looks? That's why I can't take the Steelers to cover. Again, I'll hedge my bets and still have the Steelers win.

Pick: Steelers 3, Ravens 2. (Reed kicks last second FG, Ngata with safety in the third quarter)