Dick Cheney is Jeffrey Lebowski. Jeffrey Lebowski is Dick Cheney. I picture Cheney giving the same speech to Bush on his first day in the White House as Jeffrey Lebowski gave the Dude.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Are You Employed, Sir?
Dick Cheney is Jeffrey Lebowski. Jeffrey Lebowski is Dick Cheney. I picture Cheney giving the same speech to Bush on his first day in the White House as Jeffrey Lebowski gave the Dude.
L.L. Bean Boots
Are L.L. Bean Boots appropriate for gentlemen under the age of 60? Yea or Nay? The Sperry's are rendered useless in the modern urban slush bowl, but these boots would do just the trick. Unfortunately they are back ordered on L.L. Bean until March and I can't find them anywhere else. What is a guy who appreciates warm and dry feet to do?
Barack O'Bama -- 44th Prez
No one is as Irish as Barack O'Bama.
On another note, I watched the inauguration on hulu. Disturbingly, the feed was through Fox News. Perhaps even more unsettling was the giant Paul Blart/Mall Cop advertisement directly below the live feed, distracting me from properly reflecting on the historic moment. Damn you Mall Cop, damn you.
On another note, I watched the inauguration on hulu. Disturbingly, the feed was through Fox News. Perhaps even more unsettling was the giant Paul Blart/Mall Cop advertisement directly below the live feed, distracting me from properly reflecting on the historic moment. Damn you Mall Cop, damn you.
Friday, January 16, 2009
NFL Conference Championship Picks
If I've learned anything from the NFL playoffs (which I haven't), it's that no one knows anything. Actually, that's not correct--there is one piece of information that is true. I've mentioned this before, but if every instinct the general betting public has is wrong (bookies didn't get rich by people winning), then the opposite must be right. For example, you couldn't find a single person outside of the Cardinals lockeroom that thought they had a chance against the Panthers. Everyone was convinced the Panthers would steamroll. Everyone had the same facts:
CARDINALS (+4) over Eagles
Boldin/Man of Steel is back for this game, a fact Jim Johnson can't be happy about. Throw in the inevitable circus catch Fitzgerald is going to make, and it seems the Iggs are in trouble. Also, the home crowd will be pumped up. Furthermore, if the Tampa Bay Rays, formerly the most inept team in baseball can go to the World Series, then why can't the Cardinals win one game to make the Super Bowl.
In reality, I'm trying to justify picking the Cards because if the line moved from -3 to -4 for Philly, then I'm definitely taking the Cards. I'll hedge my bets to forecast an Eagles victory though.
Pick: Eagles 24, Cardinals 23.
Ravens (+6) over STEELERS
True story: The mayor of Pittsburgh, Luke Ravenstahl, will legally change his name to Luke Steelerstahl for this game. "Stahl" is also German for Steel, which means his last name is Steelersteel. Although Pittsburgh was founded by the Germans in 1902, which of course in German means a whale's vagina,there is no way I can pick a team where their mayor's last name is Steelersteel.
This is the rough equivalent to the Redskins playing the Cowboys in the NFC Championship game and the mayor of DC (my boy, Fenty) changing his fictional last name of Cowboyhaut to Redskinshaut. Haut, of course, is German for skin. Therefore, his new last name is redskinsskin. See how ridiculous that looks? That's why I can't take the Steelers to cover. Again, I'll hedge my bets and still have the Steelers win.
Pick: Steelers 3, Ravens 2. (Reed kicks last second FG, Ngata with safety in the third quarter)
- Cards were 0-5 on the East Coast.
- Lost to the Panthers earlier in the season
- Panthers featured the best 1-2 running game in the league
- Panthers were well rested coming off a bye.
- Kurt Warner is 37
CARDINALS (+4) over Eagles
Boldin/Man of Steel is back for this game, a fact Jim Johnson can't be happy about. Throw in the inevitable circus catch Fitzgerald is going to make, and it seems the Iggs are in trouble. Also, the home crowd will be pumped up. Furthermore, if the Tampa Bay Rays, formerly the most inept team in baseball can go to the World Series, then why can't the Cardinals win one game to make the Super Bowl.
In reality, I'm trying to justify picking the Cards because if the line moved from -3 to -4 for Philly, then I'm definitely taking the Cards. I'll hedge my bets to forecast an Eagles victory though.
Pick: Eagles 24, Cardinals 23.
Ravens (+6) over STEELERS
True story: The mayor of Pittsburgh, Luke Ravenstahl, will legally change his name to Luke Steelerstahl for this game. "Stahl" is also German for Steel, which means his last name is Steelersteel. Although Pittsburgh was founded by the Germans in 1902, which of course in German means a whale's vagina,there is no way I can pick a team where their mayor's last name is Steelersteel.
This is the rough equivalent to the Redskins playing the Cowboys in the NFC Championship game and the mayor of DC (my boy, Fenty) changing his fictional last name of Cowboyhaut to Redskinshaut. Haut, of course, is German for skin. Therefore, his new last name is redskinsskin. See how ridiculous that looks? That's why I can't take the Steelers to cover. Again, I'll hedge my bets and still have the Steelers win.
Pick: Steelers 3, Ravens 2. (Reed kicks last second FG, Ngata with safety in the third quarter)
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Plane Lands in the Hudson
A plane landed on the Hudson River earlier this afternoon. By all accounts, every passenger on board is fine. This image also represents US Airways stock. Sweet jesus, that water has to be cold.
Japanese Bug Fights
If you liked Chris Farley's Japanese Game Show skit on SNL 15 years ago, you'll love this website. The premise of the site is fairly simple: Put two killer bugs (scorpion, tarantula etc) in a cage and let them fight to the death while a Japanese commentator does play-by-play of the events. Compliments to COB (cousin of the blog, Max) for this one.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Looking good Lewis. Feeling good Billy Ray.
It had been a while since I last watched Trading Places, so I decided to watch the ole 80' classic last night. Here is one the great scenes:
From 3:30 - 4:04 is pure gold.
From 3:30 - 4:04 is pure gold.
Reilly Sucks
I think Rick Reilly is trying just a little too hard to sound young and relevant in this article about beer pong. I liken it to a father asking his children "what are the kids listening to these days?"
Drank -- Slow Your Roll
Once a big fan of Sparks and Red Bull (had to kick the habit when my heart actually beat out of my chest), I was intrigued to learn about a new anti-energy drink, Drank. Combining 7-Up and cough syrup, Drank is the rough equivalent to taking four Tylenol PM's with a warm glass of milk. Hey, if it's good enough for Lil Wayne, that's all I need to know.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Delhomme's Tears
Artists rendition of Jake Delhomme, quarterback for the Carolina Panthers and public enemy #1. The man who single handily cost me a shot at my NFL Playoff Pick 'Em Pool when I foolishly picked the Panthers to win.
Delta is the worst.
If you can avoid flying Delta Airlines in the near future, I highly recommend doing so. Delta merged with Northwest over the summer, but instead of cutting the dregs of the company they seemed to have promoted the most incompetent, useless employees. This is doubly true for JFK employees.
A few highlights from my recent trip:
1. Delta has a policy of only allowing one checked bag per flight if you want to avoid paying extra bag fees. One exception to the rule is ski and boot bags count as one bag (as long as they are under 50 lbs combined), as mentioned here. Unfortunately, the employees at JFK didn't get this memo, so explaining that I shouldn't be charged an extra fee was completely mind boggling to them. The scene was roughly equivalent to a surgeon explaining open heart surgery to a non-doctor. Eventually they were going to charge me and give me a $50 coupon towards my next flight on Delta. This wasn't going to work since I plan on never again flying the airline. Finally, after what must have been 20 minutes, they figured out how to print two bag tags while not charging my credit card. Miracles do happen.
2. On the return flight, I was fortunate enough to have satellite TV at my fingertips. ESPN, NBC, TBS, FX etc on the personal TV directly in front of me. Unfortunately, the feed cut out so many times during the flight, it really wasn't worth my time.
3. Upon arrival back to JFK, our connecting flight from Salt Lake City was relegated to the dingiest, hottest, most ill-smelling baggage claim known to man. I can't stress how high Delta cranked the thermostat. There were only two carousels--one for our flight and one from Atlanta, which apparently landed about 45 minutes before our flight touched down. Without fail, the baggage handlers put all of the Salt Lake City luggage on the carousel for the Atlanta flight. I thought the people on the Atlanta flight were going to start a riot since our flights bags started coming out first and they had been waiting at least 45 minutes for their luggage. At one point, the bags became jammed, and instead of waiting for an attendant to fix them, an Atlanta passenger jumped on top of the carousel and fixed the bags himself. Surely a nice enough gesture, but probably not the smartest move. The attendant immediately slammed on the emergency stop and the rest of the SLC and ATL passengers had to wait another three minutes for the carousel to start back up again. At this point, all I could do was laugh at Delta's ineptitude and take in the circus. Our bags eventually arrived, but not after I thought some Atlanta passengers would try to steal other bags just to leave the Delta terminal as fast as possible. So add Delta to the growing list of airlines I will never fly again.
A few highlights from my recent trip:
1. Delta has a policy of only allowing one checked bag per flight if you want to avoid paying extra bag fees. One exception to the rule is ski and boot bags count as one bag (as long as they are under 50 lbs combined), as mentioned here. Unfortunately, the employees at JFK didn't get this memo, so explaining that I shouldn't be charged an extra fee was completely mind boggling to them. The scene was roughly equivalent to a surgeon explaining open heart surgery to a non-doctor. Eventually they were going to charge me and give me a $50 coupon towards my next flight on Delta. This wasn't going to work since I plan on never again flying the airline. Finally, after what must have been 20 minutes, they figured out how to print two bag tags while not charging my credit card. Miracles do happen.
2. On the return flight, I was fortunate enough to have satellite TV at my fingertips. ESPN, NBC, TBS, FX etc on the personal TV directly in front of me. Unfortunately, the feed cut out so many times during the flight, it really wasn't worth my time.
3. Upon arrival back to JFK, our connecting flight from Salt Lake City was relegated to the dingiest, hottest, most ill-smelling baggage claim known to man. I can't stress how high Delta cranked the thermostat. There were only two carousels--one for our flight and one from Atlanta, which apparently landed about 45 minutes before our flight touched down. Without fail, the baggage handlers put all of the Salt Lake City luggage on the carousel for the Atlanta flight. I thought the people on the Atlanta flight were going to start a riot since our flights bags started coming out first and they had been waiting at least 45 minutes for their luggage. At one point, the bags became jammed, and instead of waiting for an attendant to fix them, an Atlanta passenger jumped on top of the carousel and fixed the bags himself. Surely a nice enough gesture, but probably not the smartest move. The attendant immediately slammed on the emergency stop and the rest of the SLC and ATL passengers had to wait another three minutes for the carousel to start back up again. At this point, all I could do was laugh at Delta's ineptitude and take in the circus. Our bags eventually arrived, but not after I thought some Atlanta passengers would try to steal other bags just to leave the Delta terminal as fast as possible. So add Delta to the growing list of airlines I will never fly again.
Powder 8's
Sorry for the lack of posts during the last week, but I was training for the powder 8's in Tahoe. Here are a couple of choice pics from the trip, pictures that may or may not bare a striking resemblance to complete strangers.
You Stay Classy New York
After the Giants game, Weller took out his frustration on a few cars in the parking lot.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Black & Cera Make Quite the Dynamic Duo
Mark you calendars: Jack Black and Michael Cera play neanderthals in this upcoming comedy. I would see this movie based on the picture alone. Compliments to friend of the blog, the citizen
Will Carcetti Cook the Books?
Somewhere, Tommy Carcetti is blaming Burrell, Rawls and Daniels for Baltimore's first murder of 2009.
Times Square
Why would anyone want to spend New Years Eve in Times Square? That place is the armpit of New York, and it's ten times worse on NYE. I believe the people you see on TV have to wear adult diapers since there are no public bathrooms and once you get past the security checkpoint, there is no going back. So there is no food, no booze and no bathrooms--not to mention adult diaper wearing. Sounds awesome.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
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