Woke Up On the Wrong Side of the Pillow

Since NFL Preseason is underway, I thought it would be a good time to hit the gym on the off chance the Redskins were interested in a washed up soccer player who attended Art Monk football camp when he was in 3rd grade. Since it was about 95 degrees outside with 3000% humidity, running outside wasn't an option. Therefore, treadmill it was!

Since I went to my local NYSC at 11:15 this morning, the place was empty. I quickly changed and jumped on to a treadmill to jog a few miles. About 10 minutes into my fun run, some guy saddles up and takes the treadmill RIGHT NEXT TO ME. I mean there are 40 open treadmills he could of chosen, but no, he decides to get the one next to me. He then proceeds to set the incline at a 45 degree angle (3:22 mark) and walk! In my opinion, there is nothing worse than treadmill walkers. If you are a male under 300 lbs, under 50 yrs old, you have no reason to be walking on a treadmill.

Normally, I have no problem running next to people if it's crowded. Obviously, that is unavoidable. But, if you have the pick of the litter, don't take the one next to me. It's quite similar to a man taking the urinal next to a gentleman when he has 40 other open urinals. It's just common decency.

To make matters worse, the guy smelled horrendous. I didn't think he was homeless, but you can never rule out anything when you're dealing with a thick beard. I don't know why he did it. Perhaps it was my pleasant musk, perhaps we were both wearing similar maroon t-shirts. Who knows. Furthermore, he had his own headphones that plugged into the monitor that engaged the TV. So I know he wasn't just trying to mooch off my TV.

I'm normally very considerate when I'm running, trying not to sweat profusely and cleaning up after myself. In this situation, I shook my sweaty hair out like a wet dog returning from a dip in the lake. Sweat went everywhere. Poor bastard will think twice before he takes a treadmill when he has 40 others to choose from.

/bitter

Reggie Bush...Finally Safe for Fantasy Football

Apparently Reggie Bush and his enorme derriere girlfriend (Kim Kardashian) have broken up. Reggie Bush, welcome back to fantasy relevance.

Shark Week

In honor of Shark Week, here is a movie trailer about an animal so diabolical, so calculating and so evil, I could only be talking about a sharks distant cousin, the killer whale! Be it fish or mammal, the orca is pure evil. And if you don't believe me, feast you eyes on this 1977 Bo Derek vehicle:

Real World DC

First Blonde Charity Mafia. Then Real Housewives of DC. Now, finally, Real World DC. The cauldron of sin the reality "stars" will call home sits comfortably at 20th and S. Close enough to Dupont, U St., Adams Morgan and Georgetown, the show is certain to feature lewd, crude and nude behavior. Filming starts this June. God help us all.

Where Amazing Happens

You've seen the NBA's "Where Amazing Happens" spots, but have you seen them for...

...Teen Wolf?



...or Hoosiers?

Game 7 -- Sudden Death

The Caps/Rangers game 7 finale is tonight. One can only hope it doesn't go to...sudden death.

NFL Draft

Mustache? Check.

Mullet? Check.

Laser, rocket arm? Check.

Jeff George? Nope, Matthew Stafford Sr.

The NFL Draft is tomorrow--a day where the air is crisp, the sun is bright, and the grass is green. A day where hope is renewed for every NFL team. Unfortunately, I'm going to the Jersey house that has no cable so I'll be refreshing ESPN's home page like crazy. When the Skins trade every pick next year for Mark Sanchez, please call/text me with your condolences.

Thank you.

Delhomme Signs Extension

What does five interceptions and one fumble get you in a meaningful playoff game? If you're Jake Delhomme, it nets you $42.5 million, $20 million guaranteed. Since Delhomme and the Panthers cost me millions ($20, actually) in my NFL playoff pick 'em pool, this doesn't please me one bit.

But Who Will Sex Mutombo?

Dikembe calls it quits.

Lindsay Soto

Gratuitous cleavage shot. Rob Niedermayer, you sly fox.

Wolverine

Wolverine premiers in a few weeks, and the trailer makes it seem like a pretty standard popcorn movie. However, I wonder if movie execs are concerned about Hugh Jackman's image after the Oscar's. His performance on stage was hardly what you would expect from an intimidating half-man, half-wolf character. Because when I think of Wolverine, I certainly think of song and dance routine.

Washington Natinals

That's some first class stitching.

Take That, Hipsters

Pretty amusing stuff.

NFL Draft Picks

Here are my predictions for the Top-10 draft picks as well as for the Skins.

Instead of predicting what players will go to what teams, I'll just list them in the order I think they'll be drafted.

1. Matthew Stafford -- The ghost of Joey "Joe Joe" Harrington might scare Detroit with this pick, but when you go 0-16, and Daunte Culpepper is your QB, you probably need a little upgrade at the position.

2. Jason Smith -- Either Smith or Monroe go in this spot. Rumor has it the Rams like Smith a bit more.

3. Aaron Curry -- Easiest call in the first round. The Chiefs need defensive playmakers, and Curry fits the bill.

4. Eugene Monroe -- Tough call between Sanchez and Monroe. In the end, a stud offensive tackle wins out over a junior QB.

5. Michael Crabtree -- The Browns organization is in total disarray, so I fully expect Crabtree--the draft's top playmaker--to be the pick here.

6. B.J. Raji -- Best defensive tackle on the board. Bengals really need defensive help.

7. Brian Orakpo -- The Raiders are slotted to pick in this spot, so all rational thought goes out the window. A speedy WR is the trendy pick here, but I say if Crabtree is off the board, the Raiders grab Orakpo.

8. Mark Sanchez -- The Jaguars trade out of this slot if they can find a partner (Jets, Bucs, Vikings). Even if they can't trade down, I'll say Sanchez is off the board by #8.

9. Aaron Maybin -- This guy is too good for the Pack to pass up.

10. Andre Smith -- A superior talent with a less than superior body (NSFW).

13. Redskins, I will flip out if I don't hear a defensive or offensive lineman's name called by Roger Goodell. If Mark Sanchez is still available, and you pick him, I'll need a restraining order for Chainsaw.

Possible picks:

1. Michael Oher - OT
2. Andre Smith - OT
3. Robert Ayers - DE
4. Tyson Jackson - DE

Any of these stud SEC lineman would look great in Burgundy and Gold. I'll say Sanchez, Smith and possibly Oher will be off the board when the Redskins pick.

Hoping they fall: Smith and Oher
Expecting they'll be there: Ayers and Jackson
Praying they don't pick: Sanchez

Pick: Robert Ayers.

Meinspace

Following up the previous Bruno post, I would check out this site.

Chris Cooley Reality Show

Cooley has a new reality show.

F. Murray Abraham Named Wiz Coach

Congrats to F. Murray Abraham on becoming the next Wiz coach.

Green Jacket, Gold Jacket

The Masters begins today, and you know what that means. Here is your obligatory Happy Gilmore clip.

Steven Seagal Trailers

Need to waste 10 minutes? Sink your teeth into these amazing Steven Seagal trailers.

Featuring Steven Seagal in...

Above the Law. Seagal stars as as Nico Tuscani, a rogue Chicago cop who discovers a web of police corruption.

Hard to Kill. Seagal stars as Mason Storm, a cop out for revenge.

Marked for Death. Seagal stars as John Hatcher, a good cop...in a bad mood. This time, he's bringing out the big guns.

Out For Justice. Seagal stars as Gino Felino, a Brooklyn cop on the hunt for an old childhood rival who killed his best friend. In that neighborhood, someone needs to take out the garbage.

Under Siege. Seagal stars as Casey Ryback, a cook on a hijacked Navy ship who prevents Nuclear armageddon.

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. Seagal returns as Casey Ryback, this time on a train instead of a boat. Ryback attempts to foil a mad scientist out to hijack a satellite weapon.

Under Siege was probably the greatest Seagal flick, and certainly his most successful. Co-starring Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Busey and Eddie Bo Smith, Jr. (Copeland from The Fugitive), why wouldn't it be?

Lions Take Matthew Stafford

Not sure if this is legit or not. Either way, the Rams are on the clock.