Girl Gets Tossed

This clip reminds me of the movie Heavyweights, a film that may or may not have swept the 1995 Academy Awards.

Manny Ramirez Traded to the Dodgers

Manny was traded to the LA Dodgers this afternoon. Since I'm not a Red Sox fan, he doesn't hold a special place in my heart. However, I will always remember him as the guy that uttered this memorable phrase:

"I don't believe in no curses. You make your own destination." -- Manny Ramirez, after the Red Sox won the 2004 World Series.

From one non-Red Sox fan to another, it's certainly been a wild ride.

The Dream Team

All eyes are turning to Beijing in anticipation of the upcoming Olympic games. For a couple of weeks, I usually get excited about watching unknown athletes battle it out for Olympic glory in obscure sports. Basketball, however, is popular here in the U.S., making it one of the few sports where winning Olympic gold is not the highest achievement in the sport.

As much as other teams have improved around the world, it's shocking the U.S. didn't win the gold medal in 2004. Granted, the team wasn't as stacked as the 1992 Dream Team above, but it still consisted of solid NBA All-Stars. While it would be hard to live up to Christian Laettner's (seriously, how did he sneak on this team) overall game and Chris Mullin's shockingly tight shorts, the 2004 really should have won gold.

The 2008 team is almost as loaded as the 1992, boasting Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, Carmelo Anthony, Dwyane Wade, Dwight Howard and Greg Ostertag. Well not Ostertag, but certainly everyone else listed. It's inconceivable how the U.S. can lose. The only other foreign players that could even make the team might be Germany's Dirk Nowitzki and Argentina's Manu Ginobili. So I'm going out on a limb and predicting an American gold medal in the sport of basketball. I have a good feeling the Americans will prevail, and the shorts won't be as tight. It can't get much better than that.

Louisville Smuggler Grows Incredible Mustache

There are good mustaches, great mustaches, and then the mustache to the left. A 1970's porn star couldn't have grown a better one. Ladies and gentleman, The Louisville Smuggler.

I Just Threw Up a Little Bit In My Mouth

Via Deadspin, there is apparently a Bill Belichick sex tape. Filthy, filthy stuff.

Gilbert Arenas' Million Dollar Pool

Does money change a man? Perhaps. But I bet once you swim in a million dollar pool, you can never go back to anything less.

Cat Eats Entire Pet Food Store, Owners Stunned.

That is one fat cat. What would the weight equivalent be for a human? I think it would be a human that has to be helicoptered out with a contraption similar to airlifting beached whales.

Facebook Shuts Down Scrabulous

Qwijibo -- A fat, dumb, balding, North Ameican ape with a short temper. This word, and many others like it might not be seen again on Scrabulous. RIP Scrabulous.

The Wolfpack is breaking up

No news to report besides the fact that I love this picture. That is some quality Microsoft Paint work fellas. Keep up the good work.

Angels Land Teixeira

The Angels In the Outfield landed Mark Teixeira from the Braves for Casey Kotchman and a prospect. Whether or not Teixeira bolts in the offseason from Anaheim, this is clearly an upgrade at first base. Every fan in the NL East must be happy to see him shipped out west.

Zaza Pachulia Walk-off Speech

Via Joe Dubbs





If that's not the most awkward post game speech ever, I don't know what is. Chocolate City loves Zaza Pachulia.

Bennigan's Filing For Bankruptcy

Well, it's been a hell of a ride for Bennigan's. They are filing for bankruptcy and their prospects don't look good. Perhaps they are going under because I've never eaten at the fine establishment. Or because most of the meals look like the image below.

Since this website is getting more hits than a UC-Boulder bong, one can only hope the Reaganite muckety mucks at Bennigan's don't utter "Mr. Livengood, tear down this site."

Earthquake Rocks Los Angeles, Comedy Ensues.

A 5.9 Earthquake hit southern California around noon PDT. While earthquakes are hardly a laughing matter, I found it particulary funny.

A few months ago, a smaller earthquake hit Reno, NV while a coworker was deposing someone for one my cases. There was a video camera pointed on the man and the court reporter had to include that an earthquake hit while the deposition was occuring and there would be a short recess. Since deposition transcripts make Lord Byron poems seem like page-turners, any mention of an earthquake is high comedy.

Flash forward to today. Another coworker was taking another deposition today when the LA quake hit. There have been roughly 20 depositions for this case across the country over the last two years. What are the odds that there would be two earthquakes during different depositions. 1-100? I would say more like 1-1,000,000.

While I hope everyone in the LA area is safe, Blogengood wants to extend a special prayer to Bill Simmons and his laptop that they escaped any damage. On a side note, what is it called if you refer to your own website in the third person. The fourth person? Fifth Person? Suggestions welcome.

Yurt

This upcoming Saturday night I'm staying in a yurt for Kenly's wedding. What is a yurt you might ask? According to dictionary.com it is:

"a tentlike dwelling of the Mongol and Turkic peoples of central Asia, consisting of a cylindrical wall of poles in a lattice arrangement with a conical roof of poles, both covered by felt or skins."

This could be the greatest weekend of my life.

Haircut

Since my hair was getting a bit shaggy (very similar to Radovan Karadzic's mop below), I decided to get a haircut at my local barbershop. No one is getting the John Edwards $400 haircut here for a measly $15, but I still expect quality from this place. While I sitting in the barber chair, a man walked in and handed the woman cutting my hair a few crumbled dollar bills to "wash his hair" since he was apparently going out of town the next day and wanted to look good. I don't know if that is code for something wildly inappropriate for a family website like Blogengood, but something definitely seemed sketchy. They went into a back room for a few minutes in the middle of my haircut. I was stunned. She returned a two minutes later and continued cutting my hair while the man said thank you and walked out with a smug look on his face. The imagination runs wild with the possibilities of what went on between the two. This incident was the first of two that knocked her tip down a few bucks.

When I think of haircut, I think of the sound of snips and clumps of hair falling to the floor. This woman took about a quarter of an inch off my hair all the while running a comb through it and simply parting in different ways. She turned me around to admire her handy work in the handheld mirror. Simply put, she ran a comb through my hair for 15 minutes and took a quarter of an inch off. That is not a haircut, so I knocked her tip down another dollar.


Luckily she followed my request to take another inch or two off, so everything turned out well in the end. Even though the haircut doesn't look half bad (I gave the shooter to the mirror this morning, so you know it can't be that bad), it's hard to overlook the sketchy man paying to wash his hair and the woman simply running the comb through my hair. That said, I think I would go back.

Jason Campbell seems to be doing quite well.

Via SI's Peter King.

"I think I am smitten with Jason Campbell. The guy's going to be good. Maybe really good. He's sure of himself, throws a nice, soft spiral downfield -- harder when he has to -- and is more confident and self-assured than anyone learning an eighth offensive system in his last nine years of football has the right to be.

(True fact. Dating to his senior year in high school, Campbell has had to learn eight offenses -- and this is the first time he's been in some form of the West Coast offense since high school. I defy anyone who watched the Redskins practice on Friday to say they don't think this guy's got the tools to be great. Four or five times in a row he threw passes 20 yards or longer in wideout-versus-corner passing drills, and each time he hit the receiver in perfect stride. Now, he's not throwing those passes with Jason Taylor and Andre Carter planning to steamroll him, because quarterbacks aren't touched by teammates in July. Will he be All-Ashburn instead of All-Pro? Maybe. But this display was one of the best I've seen at a summer practice in a long, long time."

Amen.

My Weekend

I went out to Sweller's house this weekend for a little sun, surf and relaxation. Everyone had a great time and we ended up playing at least 20 games of bocce. Must have consumed 20 hot dogs and 50 BBQ ribs (only a slight exaggeration).

Returned with a healthy appreciation for sunblock. There is red, slightly charred and then the color of my skin. To say I got burned would be an understatement. You know it's bad when someone casually pats you on the back and you recoil like Kimbo Slice unleashed his fury upon your body. While I usually apply sunblock, I thought my thick sweater vest would act a shield against the harsh rays of the sun. My how wrong I was.

Dark Knight

I went to go see the Dark Knight last night, and it certainly lived up to the hype. The rocket scientists at the theater couldn't figure out how to line up the projector with the screen, the AC shut off half way through the movie and they oversold the show. Besides that though, the theater was just lovely.

The movie itself was superb, and Heath Ledger's Joker character was remarkable. One of the better action movies I've seen in quite some time.

Quicksilver Movie Trailer

Bill Simmons and Adam Corolla referenced this movie on a recent podcast. Granted, I've never seen this movie, but for the stunt bike tricks alone I might netflix it.

7-Year Old Wanted to Do Hoodrat Stuff With Friends